Signs

We look for signs. Signs that Maisie is with us. First, it was daisies. This is the flower that we associate with our daughter. Perhaps it is because daisies were the first flowers gifted to us after our loss. Perhaps it is because daisies symbolize innocents and purity. We see daisies quite frequently on our walks around the neighborhood. So we planted and tend to a “Maisie’s Daisies” garden on our balcony and paint daisies on rocks as a way to express our love for her.

Then the signs were wind chimes. The gentle breeze makes the chimes sing so beautifully, that we talk or sing back, seemingly in a two-way conversation with our daughter.

Then it was numbers. In two of our hikes/walks so far, we unknowingly walked exactly 2.21 miles - the date of her birthdate. Maisie wanted to be on these walks with us we told ourselves.

One of my favorite signs happened in Sonoma. We went hiking earlier in the day, and randomly stopped by a roadside cafe for lunch. Upon exiting the cafe, I quickly glanced to the right of the door and saw an unaccompanied table of girl scout cookies for sale. Thinking that I already bought 6 boxes(!) two months prior, that I didn’t need another, I walked out the door. But something called me back. It could have been my love for Thin Mints, but I think it was my daughter. Upon return to the table, I saw a handmade cardboard box for payment for said cookies. It said “Maizey’s Girl Scout Cookies.” I asked the woman behind the counter if Maizey was her daughter and she replied “the cafe owner’s.” I bought two boxes. I imagined my Maisie would love girl scout cookies as much as I do.